pity party- table for 1

I am not in a good place right now…

My mawmaw who helped raise me is back in ICU. She woke up Sunday morning around 1am unable to breathe, when the ambulance got there her BP was beyond high (240/180) and she has been in ICU getting meds ever since. They want her to have surgery because a valve in her heart is almost completely closed off – she doesn’t want surgery- they are trying med changes this week and monitoring her, but if those don’t work she needs surgery. I have tried talking to her about it and trying to convince her to do it, heck I even brought up great grand babies.. no dice. I love this woman more than I can even express… I want her to get better, and do whatever it takes to stay healthy…  I am not ready for her to go yet. I know its selfish, but I don’t care. Loss for me is so much harder because every time I lose someone else that I care about it re-opens the wounds of losing my dad—20 years ago next month. It seems like just yesterday. I can remember that day so vividly… yet cant remember what I did two weekends ago.

On top of that the hubs was supposed to get home Christmas day, but isn’t anymore… he will be home the 26^th because we are going to see his mom the 27-2, but Christmas is my favorite holiday and not being able to spend it with him and the issues I am having with my grandma (her birthday is Christmas day) just ruins it for me… I know, I am in MAJOR pity party mode right now…

Also, my company just doubled in size, and we needed to hire more people before this, so stress levels are BEYOND high right now…

 

Back on topic… today was workouts and weigh in Wednesday… well the weigh in was crappy, but I knew it would be. Hi, my name is Melissa and I am an emotional eater. NO surprise I am up this week.

Workouts update and goals for this next week:

 

I missed out on two days this past week…

Wednesday- sports conditioning
Thursday- run
Friday- run
Saturday- Zombie 5k mud run in Austin with my sis.... so excited!!!
Sunday- rest day
Monday- stairmaster and weights (actually did elliptical and treadmill instead of stairmaster)
Tuesday- run

This week:

W- sports conditioning
TH- run
F- run - intervals
Sat- run
Sun- rest
M- weight train
T- run

 

I am going to try running the sadness/stress away… this whole eating thing isn’t making it go away at all…. I know having a pity party isnt helping anyone, I need to get off my bum and sweat it out... and get back to eating right all the time, not just some of the time... its time to turn this train around!

 

…I know I owe another weekend recap, but I don’t have the pics on me, so that will have to come later!