Today is my 9/80 off, and I am playing catch up on DVR before I clean the house and get some yard work done. I also need to hit the pool today because tomorrow is my tri and I have only swam once since last September for my last tri. I don't want to push too much and be tired for tomorrow, so just a swim and maybe a few body weight exercises, we will see. Lots of work around the house to do today.
One of the shows I catch up on when the hubs leaves is Extreme Weight Loss... and I got to see Trina's episode today and it was pretty crazy to me. I can relate to her in more ways than I would care to admit to myself, much less others... my dad passed away right before I turned 9 and I have spent the last 20 years of my life with just my mother. My mother has been critical of me my whole life. I also feel like nothing I have done has ever been good enough for her. I have spent my whole life trying to please her or make her proud even though I know I will never be able to achieve that.
I am a work in progress. I am working on my self worth and luckily have an amazing husband who helps with that ALOT. Changing my attitude after 20 years of negativity wont happen overnight. I have good days and bad ones... however I am working on it.
I am an emotional eater, running has helped replace that many times for me, but I still have times where I turn to food. I hope to one day always deal with my emotions/stress constructively, and I am a work in progress.
I am a work in progress. There are months where I don't do so well, but then I try hard the next month to move in the right direction again, its about progress not perfection. I know that the emotional issues are going to be harder to deal with than the physical issues, but I am hoping that one day I will be able to say I have beat it. That is my goal.
Your honesty is amazing.
ReplyDeleteMy mother was also very critical of me when I was younger...always telling my sister and I what we should do about our body, clothes, hair, and our acne!
Luckily our parents divorced and when my mom moved out, our relationship actually improved because she wasn't around to criticize us.
I think her issues stemmed from her childhood and she didn't want us to be the same way, but everyone is different.
Glad to hear you are working through it and like you said....it doesn't happen overnight.
Wishing you the best!
PS~GOOD LUCK ON YOUR TRI!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing that thought. It breaks my heart to hear people have to go through things like that. My parents were always supportive, but at the same time they didn't teach me great habits and eating for life. It's hard to break away from what we are used to. You are an amazing person and every day you try- you are winning the battle! :) Good luck on your TRI, can't wait to hear about it!!!!
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